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Kobe dropped 60, the Warriors won 73, and George Karl got fired twice (or was it three times?), but finally the NBA regular season has concluded. You already heard our NBA playoff podcast, but that was before we knew the seedings. Now it’s time to make some picks, and who doesn’t love making playoff picks?! Or at the very least, making fun of people who make terrible picks?!

Here’s our breakdown of round one in the Eastern Conference!

(1) Cleveland Cavaliers vs (8) Detroit Pistons

The internet has attempted to dissect this Cavaliers team from every conceivable angle over the last four months (this site included). Why the inconsistency? Why the immaturity? Why the missing identity? Why the coaching change? It’s all grown pretty tiresome. Here’s a realistic and solution-oriented look at the Cavaliers as they attempt to defend their Eastern Conference championship:

1) The starting lineup needs to be Irving, Shumpert, James, Love and Mozgov. JR Smith and Tristan Thompson bring energy and scoring off the bench, while Shump and Mozgov bring some much needed defensive potency to the starting unit. This starting group will also force the Cavaliers to play a slower game with less three-pointers, a much more suitable style for the playoffs that should prevent the — as Mark Hicks recently called them — “Cleveland State Warriors” from blowing huge leads and beating themselves, which they’re prone to do.

2) Kyrie Irving needs to get his head on straight in a hurry. Statistically, Uncle Drew is having his worst season since his rookie campaign, which includes career-lows in minutes, assists, rebounds and steals per game, and three-point percentage. Irving has been the butt of many jokes for his inability to stay healthy, however lately he’s been playing like he’s in need of a few DNPs for his broken heart.

His breakup with R&B singer Kehlani went public on March 28, but Irving claimed the couple split prior to PartyNextDoor’s infamous IG post. Maybe he’s telling the truth, because Irving’s play has noticeably dipped since March 21. Irving has shot below .340 five times since that date.

If Kyrie cannot return to All-NBA form in a hurry, the Cavs can forget about any hopes of a title, which may result in drastic changes in Cleveland.

The Pistons on the other hand ought to be just happy to be here. A midseason trade for Tobias Harris rejuvenated the ballclub, as Detroit finished the year 17-9 after inserting the former Magician (aka Orlando Magic player) into the starting lineup. Stan Van Gundy’s guys are dominant on the boards, finishing second in the league in that department. They actually out-rebound the Cavs in three of their four meetings this season, winning all three contests.

Andre Drummond — who would’ve have been a Cavalier had yours truly been running the team’s draft board in 2012 — was an animal this year (16.2 pts, 14.8 reb per game), and could garner some All-NBA votes. He could also expose the Wine & Gold as Cleveland is much softer on the interior this season, especially with center Timofey Mozgov playing sparingly and inconsistently. If Van Gundy, and the all of a sudden swag-filled Reggie Jackson can figure out you can attack the Cavs at the rim off the dribble at any time Love and Thompson are in the game together, Detroit can make this interesting (which is why the Cavs need Shumpert). But they still can’t win this series. C’mon.

It’s on you, bruh. It’s not gonna get any easier.

Cavs in five.

Anthony’s pick: Cavs in five

Kenneth’s pick: Cavs in four

Sidebar: Our preseason pick was for Cleveland to once again win the East. That hasn’t changed.

(4) Atlanta Hawks vs (5) Boston Celtics

Everybody knows the Celtics are a gritty young team with a war chest of assets that will likely make them a powerhouse in the East for years to come. Everybody loves Boston coach Brad Stevens because…well, he’s awesome. Many people view the Celtics as a trendy dark horse team in the East. Meanwhile, the Hawks are like 9th Wonder, still doing great things despite flying well below the radar.

These teams are nearly identical on paper, and finished with the same 48-34 record (as did our next two teams). Both share the ball extremely well and are built on a foundation of sound coaching, and a deep roster filled with selfless role players. Each team is a bit undersized, yet ranks near the top of the league defensively. Boston is a significantly better rebounding team, but ATL ranks #1 in the NBA in lowest field goal percentage allowed. Perhaps what’s most interesting about these two teams is the noise they almost made at the trade deadline.

In what would’ve been a “push all your chips in the middle of the table” move, Celtics GM Danny Ainge contemplated dealing for Atlanta’s Al Horford and Jeff Teague. While this move would’ve cemented Boston as a force in the East this year, it also sort of shows what Ainge really thinks of his team as currently constituted, particularly all star point guard Isaiah Thomas.

The good thing about Thomas is his fearlessness and ability to takeover games. The bad thing about Thomas is his fearlessness and his want to takeover games. Thomas is ultra-assertive in big spots, which is good in theory, but it often exposes the 5’9″ guard’s limitations. Teague is bigger, savvier and more playoff tested than Thomas— maybe that’s why Ainge wanted him.

The winner of this individual matchup will go a long way in deciding this series, which could be one of the best of the first round on the low. But with the world zeroing in on the Celtics while forgetting that Atlanta has the reigning Coach of the Year on their sideline, beat Boston three times this year, may have the three best players in this series, and won 60 games last year, the Hawks feel like the safer bet. The playoffs aren’t new to the Hawks— they’ve made the NBA’s second season for the ninth straight year.

Hawks in seven.

Anthony’s pick: Hawks in five

Kenneth’s pick: Celtics in six

(3) Miami Heat vs (6) Charlotte Hornets

You may be wondering why the Washington Wizards failed to qualify for the playoffs. You may also be wondering which team has been the hottest in the Eastern Conference since the All-Star break. The answer to both of those questions is the Charlotte Hornets. Like a Jay Z feature on “Pop Style”, the Hornets second half run was barely noticed by anyone, which allowed them to slide into the playoffs undetected. Shockingly, their 21-8 record was third best in the entire league since All-Star Weekend, and the only thing preventing them from landing the #3 seed were tiebreakers. Still, despite holding the same record as the Heat, they’re the team stuck with views from the 6.

Miami is an extremely hard team to read. They’re fairly tough to beat at home (they have quite the home court advantage as teams go down to Miami, take one look at the women, and lose focus instantaneously), yet they occasionally stink on the road. Look no further than their stink bomb road performance in the second half against the Celtics Wednesday that stunk worse than inhaling a stinky garbage bag of my baby’s Pampers after a stinky mustard surprise. The Heat blew a 26 point lead with the quickness in the third quarter, as they scored only five points in that frame and 26 points in the half!

So which Miami team are we going to see? Playoff experience alone would lead one to believe “Good Miami” would rise to the occasion, but as long as Chris Bosh is out, the upset door will remain slightly ajar.

Sidebar: And suppose he does return— how hard would it be for Miami to get him back to his old Boshy self? Rust is real, just ask Blake Griffin.

As for Charlotte, Kemba Walker may be the most underrated player in the league, and he regularly steps up in crunch time. Jeremy Lin is in the midst of a “Linsanity” revival. And amazingly, the Hornets went from dead last in the league in three-point shooting to seventh in the league in one season (the power of dumping Lance Stephenson)!

The X factor in all this is Joe Johnson, who has been a buyout godsend for the Heat. He, along with Dwyane Wade, Luol Deng, Justise Winslow and Josh Richardson gives Miami a stable of shooting guards and small forwards players than pretty much runs the gamut as far as skills needed from wing players. These wings should give Charlotte problems, as Michael Kidd-Gilchrist is done for the year after a second shoulder tear, and Nicholas Batum enters this series banged up. Moreover, Hassan Whiteside is WAY too athletic for anything the Hornets could throw out there (Al Jefferson, Frank Kaminsky, Cody Zeller, Tyler Hansbrough…you get the picture). He’ll feast on the Charlotte bigs.

The stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.

It’s been a great run for Carolina sports of late: Duke last year, Panthers, Steph Curry, Tar Heels this year, and the Hornets. But unless Mike Jordan (inspired by Kobe’s double nickel + five performance) comes out of re-re-retirement to take on the team that for some insane reason hung his jersey in the rafters even though he never played for them, the Hornets bow out here.

Heat in six.

Anthony’s pick: Heat in six

Kenneth’s pick: Heat in five

(2) Toronto Raptors vs (7) Indiana Pacers

The upset alert is probably sounding pretty loud right now.

Expect a fair amount of “experts” to pick Indy over Toronto if forced to select a major round one upset. It makes sense. The Pacers are well coached, playoff tested, Roy Hibbert was thrown off the team last summer, Paul George will be the best player on the court (despite Kyle Lowry having a monster season), and the Velociraptors laid and egg in the first round last year. Maybe we should’ve called them the Pterodactyls.

This Toronto team is a little different though. They were fantastic hosts for All-Star Weekend, they’re playing more confidently than ever before, they’re terrific defensively, they take the third most free throws in the league (they should really be second— the Rockets shouldn’t count for several reasons), Drake is influencing the outcome of games, and they shouldn’t be caught off guard or scared of the moment like they were the last two seasons.

The Hawks won 60 games last year and people called them “frauds”. Maybe they were never going to win the title, but you don’t win 60 games at this level on accident. And you don’t win 56 games, like Toronto did, on accident either. It doesn’t mean they can’t lose to Indy, but this is a quality basketball team.

Myles Turner had a solid rookie campaign for Nap Town; perhaps he finally mastered running in a straight line.

Still, Turner isn’t quite ready to take that next step, and who the hell knows what happened to Monta Ellis. The Pacers might be the only team in the NBA that didn’t have two guys average more than 14 points. Even the Sixers had that…THE SIXERS!

The Raptors are better and are playing for their pride after being swept last year. Also, All-Star Demar DeRozan is playing for a new contract, and Drizzy has a new record he needs to push throughout the entire playoffs. The Raps ought to get this done; all they need to do is win Game 1 and they’ll be fine.

Raptors in six, word to the late Rob Ford.

Anthony’s pick: Raptors in five

Kenneth’s pick: Raptors in four

Only thing missing now is Masai Ujiri cussing for the people again and the ribbon will officially be cut on the 2016 NBA Playoffs!

To see our Western Conference Round 1 picks, click here.