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Straight from our Stupid Criminals File here at HHSR: A burglar broke into LL Cool J’s home at around 1:00 a.m. PT this morning. James Tood Smith was upstairs in his Studio City, CA home when he heard some odd noises coming from his kitchen. The rapper/actor went downstairs to check out the commotion and found the trespasser, who then came at him (idiot!).

At that point the intruder proceeded to catch a fade. LL broke his nose, his jaw and had him hemmed up when police arrived at the scene. LL and his family were all safe after the incident.

So, if you’ve decided to become a burglar and you’re going to break into a celebrity’s home, why of all celebs would you pick LL? What makes you think he wouldn’t put your face in the sand? I can’t help but wonder what went into this guy’s decision. Maybe he didn’t know it was LL’s crib, which is fair, but clearly shows this clown didn’t do his homework.

Because if he did do his homework, he would’ve known not to EVER, EVER PULL L’S LEVER!!!

Sidebar: There is literally no limit to the number of LL lines that could’ve been worked into this piece.